Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Close the gap

My title for this blog may seem a little strange but that is the best way to describe how I feel in the moments when Satan is "lurking around". As if he found a gap in my relationship with God and tried to squeeze himself and negative thoughts into my head and I have to get closer to the Savior in order for there not to be ANY room for Satan AT ALL. Seal up the gaps...

I had a very good conversation with a friend last night. One of those conversations where you can feel the Holy Spirit as if he just ever so slightly put his fingertips right on your soul. I had an intense "goosebump" type moment while engrosed in a "don't you let the devil bring you down with those stumbling blocks, just keep looking up, praise God in this storm" type conversation. Bible verses were popping in my head and out of my mouth that I didn't even know that I knew. It was such a blessing for God to use me in that moment. I absloutely LOVE those moments!

I got off the phone, put away my groceries, put Carter to bed, and then I had an unwanted visitor. That's the thing about Satan. He doesn't knock at the door like Jesus, He slips in through the window that is left slightly open.

There's that feeling. Even now as I write this, I feel the heaviness of Satan around me. I slept maybe, just maybe, 2 hours last night. I'm very dissappointed in myself. Through all the tossing,turning, pacing, praying, and crying. Not once until this morning did I ever think of opening up my Bible and reading. Satan found a gap last night, he threw out some negative thoughts, and I allowed myself to dwell on them. I should have recognized it earlier on. I knew better. I should have expected him to try and shake me up. He knows my weakness and he always goes to the same place. It has been over a year since he has gotten to me like that. But it is going to get me closer to God because I will fill that gap. He will not get back in.
I may have had a negative night filled with Satan BUT I will be having a POSITIVE day filled with GOD.
I need your prayers. Pray that I will seal the gaps!

Love to all!



SherryB said...

Girl, you will ge through it! You are one of the strongest people I know!! Love you!!!

Kandice said...

love this!!!!!!

Veronica Stepien said...

When I have those moments, I say over and over in my head "Get thee behind me, Satan!!!!!" It works. Thanks for sharing your moments of weakness and the faith you put in God to lift you up. You are an encouragement.