Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Inspired to let it all hang out.... ;)

I seem to land on the topic of "Look for the Good" in people alot. I guess after hearing some things said about me in the past by people who had never once had a conversation with me or never knew me at all, made me sensitive to how I was viewed especially when I used to hear rumors that were so untrue. However, 7 years out of high school, I still witness people searching for the flaws and embracing hearsay. Apparently, negativity isn't always something grown out of.

I don't dwell on my past the way I used to. I can see now how and why I used bad judgement at times. I learned a lot about where I went wrong and why. I praise God for forgiving me for where I have failed him and I have also forgiven myself for the lack of respect I had for myself and the unnecessary hurt that resulted from it.

I wanted to, and still want to, always tell people how beautiful the outcome is when you give God control of your journey through this world. I think it is important for people to know that I once was lost but now I'm found. Sometimes it can be hard when trying to give a testimony of how God has changed me because when I say that I made mistakes, some people want to automatically jump to conclusions on what my bad decisions were exactly and some want to automatically think the very worst of me. Maybe curiosity gets the best of some or maybe they just want something or someone to talk about. Bottomline, during my adolescence, I was naive, insecure, and I should have been home when instead I was out running the roads and thinking I was "In Love" with the wrong type of boy. If anyone feels the need to get together and discuss just what type of sinner I have been in the past, that's your choice, but I hope that you can take more from what I have to say than just a topic for your next "girls night out".

In most cases, it is really hard for people to reveal anything they feel could be seen as negative about themselves, partially because there are so many people that thrive off of finding "the bad" in people. I wish everyone could just be real. At the end of the day, I don't think anyone can fool anyone into believing that they are perfect anyway.

Like I have stated before, I am a work in progress.

I am opinionated which means that I have to be annoying. lol. My friends tell me that I'm not but I have really great friends, so great that they would never go out of their way to hurt my feelings so I'm pretty sure that I am annoying at times but they let me slide :)

Another flaw I have is that I cannot take criticism, nor can I take advice unless I specifically ask for it. ( Maybe I will grow out of that.)

I find myself in fear of being misunderstood. I never want to come across all "self-righteous" because I know and will never forget that God has Saved me from myself. He saves me from myself everyday. I cannot and will not ever take any credit for the life that God has given me. Everything good in me comes from my Lord and Savior.

My point to all of this is that I have flaws. I mess up. I am a sinner. I am real and that just all there is to it. God knows who I truely am and he lets me know real quick when I begin to even ever-so-slightly veer off the path he wants me on and I thank him so much for that. I go to church not because I'm this hypocrite that thinks I'm perfect but because I'm a sinner who needs guidance. Not perfect, never will be, just being the best me I can be :)

Your blogs have really inpired me the past few weeks. Thanks to Hailey for being Such an amazing person inside and out, thank you to Lindsey for being so Real and motivational, thank you Kandice for your "Just Be Yourself" Blog...


valued embellishments said...

i'm so glad to have been a inspiration! since you're a BIG inspiration to me. I know exactly what you mean about the "past" that's exactly why it's called that and the only thing you can do is make the future better. If someone has a reason to talk about somebody else pray. pray for them to find guidance and one day they'll understand. Great post!

Veronica Stepien said...

Just wanted to say how much I admire the way you put your faith and love for God out there. I totally understand where you are coming from. I remember my early teendage years and young adult days and all the mistakes I made. I wish I could erase those, but it also reminds me of the saving grace that has been given so lovingly to me now. Keep on doing what you do and you will be blessed for it.

Veronica Stepien said...

Also know you are a blessing to others!!!